To: The Hurt Christian

The answer isn't giving up church and shutting yourself up in your cave nor is it church hopping in the hope of finding the perfect one

To: The Hurt Christian

If you have been or are a church goer, chances are, you’ve been hurt. Which is a pity. But here’s the thing: if there’s a relationship, and if it’s real, there’s bound to be hurt until the day you grow enough to love without borders. Whether it’s at church, at office, at home or with friends, when you open yourself up to a relationship with another human being, you’re making yourself vulnerable to hurt. The answer isn’t giving up church and shutting yourself up in your cave nor is it church hopping in the hope of finding the perfect one. On the other hand, it is not denial either – deny an issue exists, bury it deep, plaster a smile and go about being a dedicated church member.

Funnily enough, we are more forgiving of most people in our lives unless they happen to be from church. Because in our skewed expectations, the pastor is a perfect human as are the members of the church. We feel entitled to be understood, forgiven, empathized with. But we don’t hold ourselves to the same standards we expect of others around us. We’d rather hold an offense against our brother because he hurt us than admit that one, we are probably guilty of the same crime, or two, that, yes, he hurt us but that we need to love and move forward in the relationship.

I am not, for a second, belittling the horror stories you’ve lived through because of the church. Hurt is real. And, sometimes, it’s okay to step back and let yourself heal, if you have to, before you choose to fellowship again. It’s true that the system as we know it needs to change vastly. It’s ridiculous that doctrines, traditions, performance, politics and fear rule a church where Christ should. But, here’s the unpalatable truth for those of you who are hurting: God loves His church as much as He loves you. Yes, the church doesn’t just mean the people you meet once a week to worship with. It can be three people at a coffee shop enjoying each other’s company in acknowledgement of His goodness over their lives. But it is important to understand that this is the bride of Christ we are talking about and we are a part of it. We simply cannot say we love God if we are going to hate His bride – which is inclusive of churches.

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3 Responses to "To: The Hurt Christian"

  1. Raghu   May 10, 2016 at 10:12 am


    Very inspiring to say the least. Especially ” Lay it down and choose to manifest His Spirit within you instead. You’ll be surprised at how quickly you’ll learn to love that which burned you; at how effortlessly you are now the church you once shunned” , Though provoking indeed, I hope all those people out there who are pretentious about the church and community and congregation should give this a read. Thanks for the post!


  2. Sandra   May 10, 2016 at 11:29 am

    Speaks to the heart. Loved reading it. Thanks

  3. Mercy   May 10, 2016 at 4:59 pm

    Thank you, Raghu and Sandra, for the your opinions. :)


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